You're Not Sorry
by tinydancr011
Summary: Based losely on Taylor Swift's You're Not Sorry. When John leaves, Sarah is broken and her anger towards him grows over the next 4 years of his absence and lack of communication. She finds new love and happiness, but what happens when John comes back?
1. Prologue

**Hello All! =) this is my first "I Am Number Four" story so please be nice. Also, I have only seen the movie, so I really don't know that much =/ but, regardless of that, I LOVE Sarah and John together! And girls, let's be honest...Alex Pettyfer is gorgeous. ;) Please read and leave some comments! I love getting feedback, it inspires me to write more =) I hope you like it!**

**I unfortunately do not own I Am Number Four =(**

* * *

><p><span>Sarah's POV:<span>

As his truck drove away I felt my heart break. I didn't know when I would see John next, if ever. But I knew he would always love me; he couldn't help it. I had no choice but to tell myself, "He'll come back soon." Like a mantra, I repeated it over and over in my mind, trying to convince myself that it was true.

When the truck turned the corner and was out of sight, it hit me. He was gone.

My arms found their way around my chest in attempt to hold myself together. Tears blurred my vision as I sank down to my knees. Mark crouched next to me and I felt his arms envelope my body and pull me closer to him. My muscles went limp and I fell into mark, forcing us both into a more seated position on the hard ground. I buried my face in his chest and sobs shook my entire body. Mark crooned words of comfort in my ear as he stroked my hair. After my sobbing ceased, Mark took me home. He made sure one last time that I was okay to me alone, kissed my forehead, and drove off.

I made my way to my room and the tears started again. This time I was silent, but they fell from my eyes like a waterfall. Exhaustion took over as I sank into my bed and hid myself beneath my blankets. Sleep evaded me until early morning around 4:30. I woke again at 9:45 to the sound of my phone beeping.

The screen read, "One New Text Message," so I opened my phone and read it. A smile crept across my face as my eyes scanned the text.

It said,

_good morning beautiful. have a wonderful day and remember to show the world ur gorgeous smile. I'll be home soon. I love u – John_

I shut my phone and decided that I was going to get through this...no matter how long he was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>There you go! I hope you liked it =) pretty please write me some comments. i'm definately open to ideas and critiques. my dream job is an author so please please please give me some feedback! =) thank you!<strong>


	2. Five Years

**Yayy! it's the second chapter :D unfortunately it's still a bit of a prologue, but i needed to get in some more background information.**

**I apologize for the shortness of the past 2 chapters, and i promise that now i did all of the background, i can focus on the actual story =) so the following chapters will be longer**

**Enjoy! And please leave me your thoughts =)**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing**

* * *

><p><span>Sarah's POV:<span>

The first year apart was unbearable, but john sent me a good morning text every day, and called me every night that he could. I would even get the occasional letter, and I kept each one I received. Our love was strong, but our distance hurt us both.

The second year apart was just as tough. John still texted me in the morning, but not as often as he did before. Days would go by, sometimes even weeks, before he would call me, but I knew to expect a long letter every week to make up for it. I also started college that year. My roommate knew my situation, and finally convinced me to go on a date here and there, though I did it mostly to please her. Nobody ever caught my attention like John did.

The third year was easier, but harder at the same time. I only got a letter from John every month. I wished I heard from him more, but I knew he was busy saving the world and everything. During this time, I did find someone to spend my time with, though it only lasted a couple months.

The fourth year was the biggest contradiction of them all. I didn't hear from John except for a short letter every couple months. This hurt me more than I could bear, but Alex helped with that. I was happy again with him, but then I started to get angry. Each passing week fueled my fury toward John. He left me and showed no notion of ever coming back to me. He wrote in every letter, rare as they were, how much he loved me and missed me, but I needed more than words. John wasn't coming back and as much as it hurt, I had to accept that. I had moved onto someone who could truly make me happy.

The fifth year after John left began with happiness. Alex and I have been together for about 10 months, and I rarely thought about John anymore. For my last year in college, I had moved into a small apartment, though I spent most nights with Alex. It was still too soon in our relationship to be living together, but spending the majority of our nights together was sufficient. He had to work tonight, so I was at my own abode. I made myself some popcorn and snuggled into me loveseat to watch TV. My eyes were getting heavier as the night went on, but I was jolted awake by someone knocking on my door. I figured it was Alex, but thought it odd that he didn't simply walk in. "I must've locked the door without remembering." I thought. I made my way to the door and pulled it open. My eyes grew wide and my heart stopped. I suddenly found it impossible to breathe, and all I could do was gape at what I saw before me and gasp out, "John."

* * *

><p><strong>*Gasp!* haha sorry, i just had to end it there ;) i hope you liked it! please comment =) they are much appreciated<strong>

**And i pinky promise the next chapter will be longer. And a pinky promise is legit ;D**


	3. Why Are You Here?

**Sorry that took so long! I had a really busy week, but now everything is kind of slowing down again. **

**I think we should all take a moment of silence right now to honor Ryan Dunn (Jackass star) =( he died in a car accident**

**All sad things aside, here is the new chapter! It's a little longer than the past ones, so you should all be happy about that =D**

**I hope you all like it! Please review also =)**

**I do not own I Am Number Four**

* * *

><p><span>John's POV:<span>

I was pacing outside her door for at least half an hour, and I was more nervous than I had ever been in my entire life…which was really saying something. I hadn't seen Sarah in five years, and I had no idea what to expect, but I finally summed up the courage to take a deep breath and knock on the door. I could only hope that she was home, but Number 8 said she was.

I heard footsteps getting closer to the door and then everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The doorknob turned and her door opened with excruciating slowness. When Sarah saw my face I saw the light in her eyes vanish and shock read across her features. I could do nothing but stare at her. My heart skipped a beat when she quietly whispered my name.

As I waited for her to say something, I couldn't help but to drink in her presence. Her hair, while a little disheveled as if she was sleeping, still shone in the light, and I could only imagine what it felt like. My heart was pounding loud enough for me to worry if Sarah could hear it.

Her mouth was hanging open slightly and her lips were a soft pink and I longed to taste them like I did all those years ago. My eyes made their way down to her chest and her hips and finally her legs. She was wearing only a tank top and shorts. My breath hitched and it took every muscle in my body to not reach out and let my hands roam over her beautiful body. Unfortunately Sarah noticed where my eyes were traveling and she covered herself with her arms, blushing.

I then realized that she hadn't said anything yet, except my name. She was just staring at me in disbelief. The wait was agonizing, so I decided to make the first move.

"Umm…h-hi," I managed to stutter.

Sarah blinked once and closed her mouth only to open it a moment later to ask, "What are you doing here?"

I didn't know what to say, and my palms began to grow in temperature. Her voice was like the most beautiful music I had ever heard, and I was stunned for a minute.

We had been standing in the doorway for about five minutes and it was beginning to get awkward. "Can I come in?" Sarah stepped to the side and swung her arm out as to gesture me inside her apartment.

"You can make yourself at home. Can I get you anything," she asked.

I sat down on a nearby chair and shook my head politely.

Sarah ran a hand through her hair and sighed loudly before taking a seat on her couch. She curled her feet up underneath herself and folded her hands in her lap. Her eyes were fixed on my feet when she asked, "I'm not really sure what question to ask first."

"Then just let me explain everything," I replied. Sarah nodded in compliance, still not looking at my face.

"Six, Sam and I went to Spain when we left. We found Numbers 8 and 9 there, pretty easily actually. 8 has an uncanny sense of where all of the Numbers are, but she can't tell exactly where; just the general area. That's how she found 9 so quickly. She found him in Barcelona after 3 died. 8 can also create illusions in others' minds and can influence an emotion which is good in a tense situation, and her illusions help when we're in a tight spot and need to get out or be hidden," I paused slightly and waited for Sarah to say something.

When she said nothing I continued, "9 is…well a beast. He's huge; not as big as the Mogs, but close. He's like a tank; one hit from him and a Mog is out cold with some serious brain damage. He has a little telekinesis too. When we set off to India to find Number 5, we all got another scar. Number 7 died. Not by the Mogs, we would have felt that. It must've been just natural causes. It took us a very long time to track down 5. She kept moving around, but eventually we caught up with her in Brazil. She can either cause someone extreme pain or total numbness just by looking at them. And she's almost as good of a fighter as 6. The only ones who had their guardians were 5 and 9. We stayed in Brazil until the Mogs found us. There must've been 20 of them. Both of the remaining two guardians were killed, but the rest of us were fine. We knew more would be sent after that. That battle consisted of some of their best soldiers, so we knew their 'troops' were getting low. We had to keep moving around while we figured out what to do when the rest of them came again. I lost count of how many places we went. Nicaragua, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Ireland, and a few others. Our last stop was in Northern Canada. We thought it would never end, but after I don't know how many hours it was over. All of the Mogadorians were dead. Amazingly, none of us were killed; injured yes, but still alive."

"How badly injured?" Sarah asked.

"Nothing too bad. I actually got it the worst. One of those stupid creatures they had before attacked me. Scratched down my entire front-side. I went into shock right away and I thought I was gonna die, but Bernie took him down."

"But you're okay now?"

I could hear the concern in her voice, and it brought a slight smile to my face to know that she still cared about my well-being. "Yes, I'm fine. There are some scars, but they're not too bad."

Sarah nodded her head once and asked, "So the Mogadorians…they're gone?"

"Yeah, we're 99.9% sure they're completely wiped out."

She nodded once again and then said nothing. Her eyes were still trained on my feet, and for some reason that bothered me.

"Sarah, why won't you look at me?" I asked.

"John, why did you come back?" She replied after a moment, finally looking at me. I involuntarily sat back a bit when I saw how much menace filled her gorgeous hazel-green eyes.

"I-I thought you would want to see me." I had regressed to stuttering again.

"And what the hell would make you think that I would want to see you after 5 years?" Sarah retorted.

"I'm s-sorry Sarah, I-I just thought…"

She interrupted me by saying, "Well you thought wrong John. I think you should leave now."

* * *

><p><strong>There you go! =) I hope you liked it! Please give me some feedback, I love hearing it!<strong>

**I am writing the next chapter as soon as i put this one up, so expect it sometime this week! Hopefully within the next couple days! =D**


	4. Moved On

**Omg I'm sooo sorry! I know I said it was going to be like a couple days before I updated again but I failed at that…miserably =( I got really busy with college orientation and working and teaching a summer school dance class and my graduation party. But I finally got around to finishing this chapter =) so I hope you like it! Please review at the end, it love hearing all of your thoughts, even if it's just to say something as simple as you like cookies! Really, I would love to hear it haha ;)**

**Also…I own nothing =(**

* * *

><p><em>Previously...<em>

"_John, why did you come back?" She replied, finally looking at me. I involuntarily sat back a bit when I saw how much menace filled her gorgeous hazel-green eyes. _

"_I-I thought you would want to see me." I had regressed to stuttering again._

"_And what the hell would make you think that I would want to see you after 5 years?" Sarah retorted._

"_I'm s-sorry Sarah I just thought…"_

_She interrupted me by saying, "Well you thought wrong John. I think you should leave now."_

* * *

><p><strong>John's POV:<strong>

Time stopped. Sarah looked at me with her arms crossed. Tears in her eyes threatened to spill over, but she held them in. She wanted nothing to do with me. I knew I shouldn't have come back, but I had to try…right?

"Sarah please, just let me explain."

"No John, it's too late, I've moved on and you should too."

"You know I can't do that." On their own accord, my fists clenched. I knew I wouldn't hurt her, but I was upset nonetheless.

"Well you're gonna have to. "

"NO! I'm not going to, if you would just let me…" I let my sentence trail off when I realized what she said. My entire world was crashing, the walls were enclosing around me and my heart stopped beating. The air thickened around me and it was getting harder to breathe. "Wait, w-what? Y-you moved on?" My voice cracked on the last word.

Sarah just looked at me for a moment before nodding, and a single tear finally fell down her cheek. I had to resist the urge to wipe it away. "I didn't have a choice," she whispered.

It was hard to speak, but I managed to choke out, "you always have a choice."

Sarah just blinked, and another tear fell from her eye.

"Why Sarah? You knew I was going to come back."

"No I didn't John! In the beginning I was confident that you were. But as time went on and the years passed, I knew you wouldn't. I heard from you less and less and pretty soon I knew I had to move on. I had to get over you and move on with my life. I was waiting for so long John, but I was just wasting my time," Sarah said. She was standing now, gesticulating wildly.

She looked at me expectantly, but I couldn't find the right words to say, so I sputtered out, "I'm sorry."

Sarah's eyes widened and anger flashed through them. "Sorry? If you were really sorry then you would have just left me alone. You wouldn't have come back at all because you would've known how much you hurt me and you wouldn't want to see me in such pain. I waited five God-damn years for you John! I waited for the day when you would come back to me, but you never did. Sorry? No, you're not sorry. You don't have to call anymore, or write, or text, or anything for that matter. Oh, wait; you already do that; you're already one step ahead of me aren't you?" Sarah was breathing heavily as she stared at me with a menace in her eyes I had never known her to have.

I had never seen such anger in such a little person. I was taken aback by her speech and it took me a moment to figure out a reply. "I didn't know I hurt you so much Sarah. I know you don't think I'm sorry, but I am, but I understand if you don't forgive me. You'll never have to see me again." I got up and turned to leave but what Sarah did next stopped me in my tracks.

"Please don't leave," she said so softly that I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it. I turned around and saw that Sarah had sunk to her knees and her arms were wrapped around her midsection.

"Sarah…" I croaked out and I realized that I, too, was near tears and about to break down.

She looked up and held out a hand, signaling for me to come no closer. I yearned to hold her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't. The sound of her sobs cut through me like a knife, and I could no longer control myself. I didn't care if she hated me for it, but I walked to her slowly and kneeled next to her.

"Sarah…" I started again, but I didn't get very far. Sarah realized how close I was to her and looked up at me, startled. Her eyes pierced through me, like she saw deep into my soul, and truthfully, it scared me. Everything was silent for a moment, and then her sobs began again and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her and let her cry into my chest.

She clung to me like her life depended on it, and I held her tightly against me, not caring that her tears were soaking my shirt. I crooned soft words of comfort into her hair, running my fingers through her golden locks. Sarah's sobs shook her entire body, but in between breaths she screamed at me to let her go, that she didn't want my comfort, that she didn't need me anymore. Her words were like daggers to my heart, but she made no motion to move away from me. Her small fist slammed against my chest, releasing all of her anger, but I barely felt it.

We sat like that, crying together, for about an hour. Her sobbing slowly came to stop and she was now sniffling frequently which was much easier for me to handle than to see her crying so much.

"I'm sorry John," Sarah whispered. Her voice was hoarse, but it still sounded like the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

I exhaled before replying. "You don't need to apologize. I'm the one that left. How could I expect you not to move on?" I knew that if I ever wanted to speak to her after this night I would have to let her go.

"But still…I could've waited longer."

"No Sarah! You shouldn't have waited as long as you did. You deserve to be happy and if that's what this guy gives you then that's fine. I just want you to be happy," I said with some difficulty. I didn't want to give her up, but if she was happy with him then it would be easier…I think.

Sarah only nodded and sniffled once more. I could feel her breathing get more ragged and I knew the waterworks were going to start up again. I had to get her mind off of this. "Tell me about him. What's his name?"

"Alex. He's really nice. And funny and sweet. He gonna be a psychiatrist. He's working tonight. At the animal shelter. He helps there a lot." She took short breaths, so her sentences were a bit choppy, but her voice grew in confidence as she kept talking.

"How old is he? How long have you two been together?"

"He's 24, a year older than us. It's been about 10 months," she replied.

I hesitated on the next question, "how serious are you?"

Sarah also hesitated before answering, "not very. We spend some nights together, but we wouldn't move in together anytime soon."

I nodded, slightly pleased with her response. I didn't like the idea of them spending the night together, but at least they weren't living in the same place.

"Are you going to be okay if I leave? I should really get going," I said cautiously. I didn't really want to leave, but I knew that I should.

Her eyes immediately searched for mine and I was surprised to find some fear hidden behind the hazel. "Will I see you again?" she questioned.

"Only if you want to," I replied, and Sarah nodded her head vehemently. Inside I was jumping for joy. She still wanted to see me! After all of this, she still wanted to see me, and I couldn't have been happier! A small smile crept across my face, and I saw some of the light that always used to be in Sarah's eyes come back.

We became lost in each other's eyes for a moment before I stood up and pulled her with me. I took her in my arms again and held her tight, burying my face in her hair and reveling in her warm scent.

"Sarah?" someone said. I heard the surprise in the male voice and I couldn't help but swear under my breath and push myself away from Sarah.

She looked hurt for a moment, but then composed herself to answer the man. "Alex, I thought you were going to stay at your place?"

"I was going to, but I missed you so I decided I was going to stay here," Alex replied, still apprehensive.

I reluctantly turned around to face the man who had spent many nights with the love of my life. "Uhh hey, I'm John. I'm an old friend of Sarah's. I just got back from a pretty long trip and we were just catching up." I held out my hand to him, and Alex hesitantly shook it.

"Alex. I'm Sarah's boyfriend," he said, and I couldn't help but notice a hint of anger in his voice. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. He did just walk in on his girlfriend and another man hugging. I only hoped he didn't know anything about mine and Sarah's past. I wasn't really in the mood for a fight.

After an awkward pause I decided it was time for me to go. "I should really go, we were just saying goodbye anyway. Though, I would like a little bit more time to talk to you Sarah. You know my number, so…whenever you're free," I said. As an afterthought I added, "Bye Alex, it was nice to meet you," as I walked out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>There you go! Sorry for the long update = but i really hope you liked it! =) **

**I would love some feedback, so don't be afraid to do so =)**


End file.
